I missed the last couple of days. Lots going on. Lots of emotion. Lots of thinking. Lots of deciding. Part of the Spilling Life process is to just to get it all out and down. I used the black page I had been working on to do this. I wrote about the letter I wrote my supervisors at work and the my feelings after the meeting we had about it. In fact the key feelings were “feeling like an idiot” and “feeling like a naughty, misguided child”. And although I HATE that I was made to feel that way… I do not regret speaking up. Whether things will improve or not… that is to be determined. The point is, this page… this blog… will always remind me of this “very important day”. It is very important, although probably not the most successful, because I stood up and spoke out on problems the other members of my team would not. I am very aware that the others won’t have been deemed “problematic”… since it is the squeaky wheel that is problematic. And of course, I can not predict the repercussions of me standing up but either way I am good with it. When I decided to go out on a limb and confront the issues I had decided that if I lost my job as a result… then so be it (I didn’t want to lose my job, but I didn’t want to continue on the way things were).
So I started journaling.
and filled the page. Notice I didn’t write upright. I did that to add a bit of privacy. Not that I would care if my journaling was read but this page wasn’t specifically made for others to “read”. Just changing the direction of your writing can make your journaling more an element.
Lastly, I decided to take a small paint brush and some water and soften up the coloring of the insides of the flower petals. Truthfully, the water puddled way more than usual and ended up making the color look more blotchy than smooth and painterly. But that’s the breaks!
Here is my finished spread.
Happy Friday you all!